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For Decks that absolutely must look for Skill Drain in their Turn 1 play, the most consistent answer is Pharaonic Advent
Instead, you need access to some big creatures alongside lots of artifacts
Getting it to higher levels of damage might be a bit harder, but it can benefit your damage output
It also has a flip effect capable of clearing the already-summoned threats
But then I realized that it would be unfair if it simply penalized men, so I tweaked the card so that it automatically affected women (well, except naked women, and knowing our key demographic, a naked woman should already have a few significant play advantages) and men who went out of their way to get affected
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